After WLS: Goodbye Self-Loathing! Hello Self-Loving!


You won't believe what happened to me today!

I was getting ready for work and saw myself naked in the full-length mirror and I didn't hate what I saw! I actually gave myself an unrehearsed slightly passive self-compliment "You don't look bad today."

The reason this is monumental is because most of the time when I look in the mirror I do not like what I see and I give myself harsh criticism. I suppose after years of self-loathing that it is more comfortable to degrade my appearance than to appreciate it.

Many patients report hyper-judging their bodies after weight loss; it seems the thinner we get the more judgmental we are of our bodies. These days I'm critical of thighs that seem a bit jiggly and some very unattractive cottage cheese dimples on my rear end. Loathing these body parts keeps me from appreciating a thin waist, toned arms or those curious collarbones that were in hiding for so many years.

Body dysmorphic disorder is a mental image many victims of anorexia nervosa have that tells them they look fat, even when they are emaciated. Morbidly obese people and bariatric patients can suffer from body dysmorphia as well.One reader, ThereseD, posted this message regarding body perception:

"Body Dysmorphia is REAL! Over five years after my open RNY gastric bypass and I got hit with it again just last night, when I was cleaning out my closet. My daughter commented that my new shirt, which I was so proudly placing at the front, was too big and needs to go in the "go" pile. I checked the label and sure enough, it said "Large". Following my revision surgery of April 18, 2005, I still have my bandages and I'm probably wearing a size 4 Petite . . . and still I put on a smart and stylish new top in a size that's just too big for me! Oops!"

When we were morbidly obese our emotional coping mechanisms kicked in and many of us were able to convince ourselves we really weren't that big. It is emotionally kinder to avoid body criticism. The whole issue of obesity seems hopeless. In fact, many morbidly obese patients will say they see themselves normal sized. That is until rude moments remind them they are not normal sized: a skinny chair, a turnstile, a bathroom stall, a flight of stairs, a photograph. This false perception is a subconscious coping strategy to protect us from the brutal truth, the truth about how big morbidly obese really is.

After surgery, there is a tendency for the body dysmorphia to reverse. Before surgery we denied how big we were, after surgery we judge ourselves critically ? like the anorexic ? and fail to see an honest reflection. One woman, down from size 24 to size 10 wrote, "I feel fat daily. I never felt this at 248 pounds ? I saw a thinner person in the mirror than I see now. I look at my size 10 jeans and they look like tents. I don't feel as attractive as I did when I was heavy. I don't understand it," she continued, "but I think it has to do with learning to accept yourself fat so you didn't see all the fat. Now I just have to learn to accept myself as thinner."

It has been suggested that dressing in stylish clothes that fit is one way to beat the body blues. Another idea, as Therese suggested, is having a bystander who will be honest about our appearance. Therese wrote, "My daughter's the number one person I go to, when I need to cure the myopic view of myself that I've developed."

I wish I knew what magic happened this morning that I accepted and appreciated my own body. If I could package that magic I would personally mail it to every reader of LivingAfterWLS.com ? we ALL deserve to love and appreciate ourselves. It's time for the self-loathing to end and the self-appreciation to begin.

Kaye Bailey © 2005- All Rights Reserved

Kaye Bailey is a weight loss surgery success story having maintained her health and goal weight for 5+ years. An award winning journalist, she is the author and webmaster of http://www.livingafterwls.com and http://www.livingafterwls.blogspot.com

Fresh & insightful content is added daily, check in often.

To subscribe to the LivingAfterWLS monthly newsletter "You Have Arrived" click on http://www.livingafterwls.com and enter your details in the subscription box.






































home | site map | © 2006 Jess Advent | shastabert@shastabert.com
Visit Our Sister Sites
Internet Incomes Simplified | Religious Stickers | Worlds Best Web Hosting | Parenting Information
Top 15 Weight Loss Programs | Diabetes Information | Virtual Reality - Be Anything You Can Imagine | Online Poker



leiiooannned angeles chapter club sierra kwick n kleen car wash csi dark motive cheat code boot dance evening star cheap cowboy hats wgms classical music shut down computer or not car computer loan judys escort club jedi starfighter cheat codes last minute valentine day gift idea bassmaster classic dvd saeco espresso classico ss cappuccino coffee machine cheat geometry sheet cheapest insurance mortgage latest dancehall music videos commandos2 cheat codes musician classifieds los angeles car classic in texas 2006 club f150 ford rally classic car autotrader st patricks day celebration in ireland i love the way everyday birthday candle origin phong vu computer suzuki car malaysia butler jean riverdance rose city classic dog shows loli kds dark xyz computers kelowna daily courier classifieds ag classified ads for farm machinery cheat code pokemon silver version iron cross second class small mobile computer snood serial crack ps2 cheats san andreas car car future new pont black darkside elephunk eyed pea rg suede night club philadelphia cheapest text book.com club med palmiye holiday village lugis mansion cheat codes time and attendance tracking software21031460 garth marenghis darkplace dvd release car part los angeles maxim fitness club art computer flash computer download game kombat mortal it was good day ice cube watch college basketball on the computer alaskan bank classified ads computer flexible keyboard san diego dance clubs larchmont swim club mt laurel nj mariokart double dash cheats for gamecube arizona computer dealer lisinopril drug class clubaquatica.com black and bruised ps2 cheats book day guest jerry labor lewis telethon warcraft 3 pc cheats the same yesterday today and forever guarenteed cheapest contact lenses on the internet grits merchandise from cracker barrel car car other race sprint magic the gathering pc cheats stab in the dark daily sentinel classifieds grand junction car dallas dealer texas jak 3 cheats and hints pdf to html converter 1.7 crack car production racing mp3 remix cracks lago mar resort hotel club belly dance nyc darkgalaxy tools asthma awareness day 2005 classic cartoon for sale day doom virus care day home law dark age of camelot quests help club le ny pacha warlords 3 darklords pangaea club guest list image dark angels als computer service car sales manager job description evil islands cheats savannah st pattys day dallas friday group group wedding dance song multicultural classroom resources setup factory crack kicker comedy club sabre dance max dvd to avi converter crack orthodox neoclassical economics check computer credit credit financing no newton country day of the sacred heart everquest2 cheat ms project 2002 crack cheap womens golf club club intrawest whistler blackcomb cheap leather briefcase cheap used car sale benchmark computer brooklyn car in infiniti new used york 21st birthday presents for a girl cheat codes sims 2 mtm dancers capones restaurant and live jazz club typing master pro crack adshareit swf to video converter pro 3.1 crack car tyres cheap dance littleton toronto night club pic cheapest hotel prague reservation cheap luggage ecognition crack www cheat air cooled vs liquid cooled computers paul booth dark image dark future mp3 audio mixer crack roller coaster 3 no cd crack microsoft office 2000 cracks car download need porsche speed super mario 3 game genie cheats jpadpro crack club la costa truth classic pocket watches lyric to minority by green day gta 2 computer cheats darkmage cheap dress man shirt animal cheat crossing through walk bush oscar de la renta dragers classics 2 chaco cheap z half life 2 help dark energy writing a novel class worms 3d cheats pc directory opus 8.0 crack classpaths cigar classic minitab 14.1 crack ukraine airlines airfare cheap airline ticket to las vegas lipuma american express class cheap computer laptop shopping balcones club apartments austin slow dance song list holiday gas station website cheats for minority report on xbox day of reckoning 2 roster classic chevrolet owasso cd crack football manager kayla birthday lord of the rings pc game cheats epiphone les paul classic reviews lebanese circle dance steps kelly ripa crack newsleecher 2.00 crack computerlesson plans sponge bob square pants cheats for xbox day jehovah valentine witness cardboard classroom storage units order cheap medications online cheap flat screen lcd monitors egyptian belly dancer deena dark room ludlow nyc greenwood gun club military car rental segamat country club clifford car alarm review cheap denim shirt cheat code spherical 007 cheat code eye golden n64 blue candle computer cheap retractable awning ribault garden club men cheating in da club by lil jon lyrics what is span class war on middle class jd salingers birthday used car dealership new york cheap air flights cheap international airfares lisbon pilgrimage to antipolo dance englishclub.com day trading definition mailnavigator 1.10 crack guidance lessons computer expert expert job resume resume web splatterhouse 2 cheats bike week daytona babes clips lyrics for broken dreams green day canon classical music protective computer bag belt cheat green sheet sigma six cheap air flights cheap international flight aracaju birthday pooh bear sims living large no cd crack icoo loader cracked online cheating spouse yatch clubs golf club standard loft lvds bit error caused by impedance mismatch austin owner club stainless steel rat donnie darko little fighter2 cheat cheat for mafia british archaeology book clubs computer game game gametax.com online car indy picture cheapest computers uk punisher x box cheat codes sony car stereos service manual holiday valley ski resort ellicotville cheap hotel clearwater florida kiss.to v3darkside crack for bejeweled 2 deluxe v1.0 dirt cheap tickets really cheap airline ticket black and white cheat code crack sothink dhtml menu 4.4 pokemon blue game shark cheat thinkpad bios password cracker kelowna volleyball club warcrack pay car tax online seduced by the dark side runescape cheat big money cheap lineage2 adena tony hawk under ground 2 cheats gamecube computer slow installing msn internet explorer hot club of cowtown tab visio 2003 pro crack phoenix dance clubs cheap air flights china eastern airlines karachi serial no. crack day cruise bahamas classic doom 3 walkthrough rode classic i badayori spheres of chaos crack starfish computer company located in westlake oh classic evinrude snowmobile anaheim auto cheap insurance cm120 car audio classikhan